by Roxanne Diana
I was hanging out with some friends one evening, and met this suuuper cute guy. He asked,
“Roxanne, do you have love in your life?” The question took me off guard.
“What?”
“Do you have love in your life?”
I thought about it, and then replied, meeting his gaze steadily, “Yes, I do. Are you interested in adding to it?”
This feels a little awkward, but I’ll just dive right in.
I’m a single lady of a certain age, and I’m looking for a husband. There. I said it.
If you can think of something less cornball than “lady of a certain age,” please let me know, I’d love to use that instead, lol. As anyone who knows me will tell you, I’m not one to “act my age,” whatever that means.
To quickly channel my inner baby Beyonce, shout out to all my single ladies! I have a number of single girlfriends who are absolutely not looking for a significant other, and treasure their single status dearly.
I honestly don’t quite know when it happened, but I went from being very happily single, to not-so-loving being a singleton.
The single life is a vibrant one, full of perks and amenities that I adore. But I’m ready for a change.
Obvi, my inquisitive gentleman was not Mr. Right, or I would no longer be accepting life-partner applications – which I am, if you know anyone, wink-wink.
I truly enjoy being alone, but I am not a solitary creature. That said, I find it essential to cultivate a joyous love life regardless if one is romantically involved or not.
I am continually in the process of creating my best love life.
Roxanne’s love life doesn’t look like what popular culture often defines as a quintessential “love life,” and is independent of my wish to find Mr. Right.
Happily, I consider it richer, more fulfilling and contingent on me, rather than another person. It took longer than I care to admit to fall in love with being me, and to treat myself like I deserve to be treated.
Is it my consistent state of being? I wish!
Sometimes, when things are not going my way, I throw myself an extravagant pity party, with black balloons, gray skies and lots of weepy raindrops.
It can last from an hour, up to a few days, depending on the circumstance.
When I feel bad, it is easy to let up on the things I do to keep myself positive and strong. Since I am already partying pity-style, the next logical step would be to shake myself out of it, right?
Wrong.
I’ve learned to cut myself some slack, practice self-compassion, and show myself a little kindness. Years ago, a friend encouraged me to be a best friend to myself, especially when I am feeling particularly down. I must say, it’s some of the best advice I’ve ever received.
What’s love got to do with it? Everything!
What’s love got to do with it? Everything! Love begins within, and thankfully, my cup runneth over. Further, I need to share in order to be free, and keep the reservoir full.
Here’s a few valuable personal love-life nuggets I’ve picked up along the way:
- Keep a Gratitude List: Note at least five things you are grateful for each day – Try to make each daily list different – you’ll be amazed to realize what you are taking for granted!
- Nurture yourself: Indulge in your favorite comforting ritual (think long baths or indoor/outdoor gardening) – I love tea, and the soothing process of kettle-boiled water, coupled with brewing a cup of Harney & Son’s Yellow & Blue chamomile lavender loose leaf tea always takes me to my happy
- Call a friend or family member, with the only goal of asking how they are doing, and listening without interruption. Maybe there’s even something you can do to help!
- Dance it out! Put on the song that gets you dancing like nobody’s watching, and do it!
- Take a 30-minute walk with Mother Nature. Inspiration, fresh air, singing birds, oxygenated blood and endorphins, oh my!
